audio;

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Okay, fuck this shit. Ready?

[Mr. Pink, Mr. White, and Mr. Orange are getting up and getting out of a diner after eating lunch and bitching, as usual, about tips, when this starts playing. They are powerwalking out the diner. They are super cool.]

All I'm saying is that white bitches will take almost any shit as long as you say I love you. It's like pressing some magic fucking button.

[PAUSE. Hey, is that Little Green Bag? That's an awesome song!]

Comments

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[He just shrugs]

Yeah? How's that working out for you?

[There's definitely one thing about Pink: he doesn't pretend he's not a fucking professional thief]

[whitetwoguns]

Hey. Hey. I asked you somethin' asshole. Since you're the one who's clearly talkin' from experience.

[Because he's interested. What kind of a down on her luck sort of a woman would want to be around this mess for long enough to hold out for an I love you.]

[orangetoughguy]

[Pink just gets a middle finger from Orange here. He's totally wanting to hear his answer to Larry's question instead.]

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Hey, hey, I wasn't the one that changed the fucking subject. I've been with women, more than just a few fucking hours, too, and let me tell you, I think a woman's got full fucking rights to do whatever the fuck she wants. But if what she wants is to believe you when you say 'I love you' that's not my fucking problem.

And more to the fucking point, where's your fucking high horse, huh? You [pointing to White] aren't exactly the fucking bastion of morality here. You can't be a fucking criminal and pretend like you're the better fucking man in any situation.

[Famous Pink rant]

And you, [Orange] getting a job, being all hard working. Makes me laugh.

[whitetwoguns]

[Huff. Puff. This fucking piece of shit, Pink. Somehow they're friends. And somehow or another he always manages to rub Mr. White the wrong fucking way.]

Never said that made me better. Just said that it's something I don't make a practice of doin'. If that happens to make me a little less of a scumbag than so be it.

[As for Mr. Orange...this one he can work out on his own.]

[orangetoughguy]

[Freddy'd rather not talk about employment so he won't even address how it makes Pink laugh.]

Makes him less of a scumbag. [Freddy repeats.] You know they got words for that too, when a girl makes you think she's gonna whip your dick out and blow it? Same thing. Fuckin' stings don't it?

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Both of you act like you have any kind of ground to stand on. At least I have the balls to admit that I'm a piece of scum. You might not do it, and if it's because you're too into blowing each other to fucking care about women or because you think you respect women or whatever shit, there's no such fucking thing as less of a scumbag.

Keep blowing that fucking air out your ass, White. You're still a two-bit crook, and you've got this little fucking problem with your temper.

And you, [Orange] you shoot guys in bowling alleys for no fucking reason. So as far as I see it, yeah, I've told a woman I love her so that she'll suck my dick. But in terms of the crap that's been pulled off by the three of us? The lesser of three evils.

[And not just because most of the violence has been on the cockroach]