pinkeffinprofessional | (no subject)

(no subject)

[There is a rhythmic beeping noise in the background]

Who the fuck eats this crap? No wonder people lose weight in the hospital, I'm pretty sure the food at fucking Rikers is better than this shit.

I don't know who defined this crap as pudding but what it is is wallpaper paste.

...[Muttering]...someone better be feeding my goddamn cat.

[This is said with all the intentions that he knows exactly who that someone should be.]

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I'm sure with how polite you are coupled with that sunny demeanor, someone is over as we speak feeding your cat.

No one would let a cat starve.

I know I wouldn't. I'm surprised I haven't noticed you on the network before what with your colorful language and wide vocabulary.

I know reading's a really great big challenge but I hear Hooked on Phonics works for everyone.

Even you! Also, nice 90's reference there. Haven't heard a Hooked on Phonics joke in...some time.

Aren't you a fucking special ray of sunshine.

You got something else to add or are you just going to keep pointing out the obvious?

At times, I can be.

I'm Taylor. We haven't met. Oop, no wait. That's obvious. Not obvious, not obvious...I'm hungry? That isn't obvious unless you're telepathic and here, I wouldn't be surprised!

You ever been shot in the stomach?

No, but I'm guessing you have!

Look, she can think.

Now tell me, Taylor, now that you know why I'm in the fucking hospital, do you really want to keep giving me shit?

I'm not "giving you shit." Or, I am, and I don't mean to be. I'm just making conversation. Where are you from, guy in the hospital who got shot in the stomach?

None of your business.

Mother's maiden name?

....you just don't get it.

I find that being friendly brings out others' friendly sides.

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